Thoughts

Today, I  am having just one of those days. One of those days when you realize just how lucky you really are and you take the time to count your blessings.

Last Saturday, one of the call center workers at my work collapsed while walking back in from break and was gone before he made it to the hospital. He was 32 years old.  Tuesday morning after the long weekend, the building had this eerie feel about it, a quiet. The only kind of quiet that a loss like that could give.

One of the girls who was on the Synagis team was a close personal friend of his and I can't imagine what she has been going through.

But its times like these that makes me realize how lucky I am for everything I have in my life. Recently, I was able to move to a new townhouse in a much better area. Not only do I feel safer (and willing to take my dog for a walk), I no longer have to worry about the upkeep as much as I did at the house I was renting. Now, I'll miss that house. It was a cool place and had a great layout. But the stress that came with it (and the crazy water bills) are not something that I will miss. 

Right before moving, I was promoted to a higher position. Though it has been a time of great change as it is my 3rd department in the year that I have been with the company, I have learned a lot and I am welcoming this new position with open arms. I love my new team and the fellow leads who I work with. Everyone has been so inviting and patient with me as I learn the ropes.

And I have amazing people in my life. Not only do I have great friends who make me smile all the time, I have the best boyfriend in the world. He makes me feel like a queen and helps me feel beautiful when I'm not so sure. Though we have our moments (what couples don't), I know that someday, I'm going to marry that boy...and for that I cannot wait.

Life is so exciting when you get the chance to experience it. I feel so lucky to be continually growing and being. Though there are people in my life that I miss all the time, I know that I will see them someday and it will be wonderful. I have the best group of guardian angels up there watching out for me and helping me get through the tough stuff. Sometimes with a bunch of determination (and a few tears) you are able to get through those hard moments.

It doesn't rain forever, you just have to wait for the sun to come back.

Here's some pictures from the past few weeks:

A Rant About Emotions

So, it's been a long time since I had an actual rant on here. I mean, this blog IS called "Rants of an Optimist." I felt like today was a perfect day for a rant about something that seems to mess with people quite often. Our emotions.

For one, I am generally a happy person. Since I was a child, I always had this smile plastered on my face. I was always complimented on how beautiful my smile is. But, I think what most people miss is that fact that I have more than one emotion. Though I don't show it very often, I feel the gamut of emotions quite often. But I think it is the way I deal with the negative ones for the most part that allows me to move on to the positive ones.

A smile is a mask. Many times, it is a mask that I hide behind. Why? Well, for one, people tend to act towards you much better if you are smiling or in a positive mood. They are more likely to work with you on whatever you are going to them with and get it done without hard feelings. This is because positivity makes you a good person to be around.

But hiding hiding behind a smile is NOT healthy for you. If you push those emotions inside and don't let yourself feel them at some point, they will bottle up for a long time. It is a proven fact that those who bottle emotions physically get sick more often, have higher blood pressure, better chance of heart attack and stroke and can end up blowing up at the wrong time. Blow ups can lead to loss of friendships or ties with family members. It is truly very sad.

And something that I have experienced first hand. There was a lot of things that I allowed to bottle up for a very long time and I finally blew up on a March morning. Now there are family ties I am sure I will never regain, and members of my family who won't even say hello to me when we are in the same vicinity.

I have learned that bottling up emotions is not a good thing at all. After my mother's death, I hid a lot of pain and resentment inside myself.  Though I went through counseling in high school, it never really helped much because I wasn't comfortable with the woman who I went to see. I told her what she wanted to hear. I told her what was expected. It all went down to the one time I said something I truly meant and the woman said that "I think you are lying." I acted out in the wrong ways for the attention that I craved.

So when I got to college, I hit a dark place in my life. Those first couple years of college were some of my most tumultuous and painful. They were lonely. I remember spending hours lying on the floor just being sad. I remember sitting in the dark because I didn't want to turn on the light.

But I came out of that dark place thanks to the help of some great friends in my life. Through their hugs and them lending me their time and ears, I have developed ways to cope and move on from those bouts of darkness. I learned from those months of happiness in between the darkness that I was bottling up every negative emotion I felt because I was afraid that feeling it would lead me back to the dark place...and eventually it had.

So, what I really learned. If there is anything that you can learn from this post, it is this: let yourself feel the emotions. If you are sad. Cry. Be sad. But let it happen because it will pass. If you are angry, find a way that won't hurt you or someone/thing else and let it out. May it be talking to a good friend or lover. Or screaming into a pillow. Or playing a musical instrument. Do it. And let the anger pass.

I know for a fact that humans don't like feeling negative emotions. But if you let yourself feel them, they will pass. I think that we all need to remember the phrase "This too shall pass." Because it will, everything does.

And if you find yourself is a dark part of your life, know that I am always here for you. Even if we have never met. I am always willing to listen to you and let you get past this part in your life.

And if you are presented with a friend who is sad and angry, don't pass them off. If they are coming to you, it means that they trust and love you. It means that you are their person and they want to come to you with all the issues that they are dealing with. Most of the time, they just need someone to listen to them for a little while so they can figure out how to move on. You can be that person for someone.

And that is more of a gift than you could ever imagine.

/rant

Life Just Flies By!

So, I finally have a moment to sit here and think about the past few weeks of my life and how so much has just happened. Life has just been crazy but amazing all at the same time. 

For one, I graduated. May 5th, 2013 will be one of the proudest days of my life. I walked across that stage and completed one of the last promises that I ever made my mother. I remember when I was young, I promised her that I would graduate college and she would be there to see me. Now, sadly she wasn't there in person to see it happen, but I know somewhere in the universe, she was smiling her huge smile as I walked across that stage in front of those couple thousand people, shook the hands of the heads of the University and received my diploma cover. In a few weeks, I'll receive my diploma in the mail and the package will be complete. I am so happy, and will be able to look back on my 5 years at UM-Flint as years of great learning, great growth and amazing memories. 

Later that day, unknown to me, Kevin planned me a graduation party. Though now that I know, I could see where he got really close to letting go the surprise of the whole thing. But he didn't. When I pulled into his driveway that evening, I was welcomed by 30 or so of my closest family and friends who were there to celebrate me. It was one of the best gifts I could be given by anyone (and another thing crossed off the bucket list). I got to visit with people I hadn't seen in a long time and enjoyed it thoroughly.

Yup, he got me!

The week after that was moving week. I had just signed papers on a 2 bedroom/2 bath home in a lovely neighborhood in Flint. My friend Hoffa moved in with me so we could split the rent and the bills. That week was full of friends help (thank you guys sooooo much!), a frenzy of boxes, much cleaning and saying goodbye to Riverfront where I had called home for 3 years. 

I got in and settled a bit before I started my new job at Diplomat Specialty Pharmacy. Yup, I got the official job offer and start date in the middle of my packing and started training on the 13th. Now that I have had 2 weeks of training, I am very excited to start in my department and very excited to be working for this company. I can wholeheartedly say that they care for their employees and it is going to be an amazing place to work, if for only a few years or the rest of my working life. Who knows? The sky is the limit currently and there are MANY chances for advancement within the company.

Lastly, last night was my first official party of the new home. 25+ friends of mine came out to celebrate and hang at my new home. We played games, laughed and just had a lot of fun. It truly was an amazing time and I am so happy they all joined me. It was also Brittney's birthday, which we also celebrated :)

For now, life is pretty good. I can't complain too much! I am so thankful for all my friends and family who have helped me get to where I am now. Of life!

Graduation

This weighed heavy on my mind last night. As I was trying to bust out a term paper for my Crisis Intervention class, I sat there and remembered why I was staying up until 4am to finish it for.

Because in under 6 months time, I'll be a college graduate. I'll have culminated the last 5 years of my life in a ceremony where I can finally say, "I did it!"

But last night, I found myself laughing because I have spent the last 5 years of my life...for a piece of paper. This paper shows that I paid out the nose to get education. But I laughed, because I have spent the last five years for a paper.

But what does this paper mean to me? It's interesting, looking back, at the changes that I have gone through in the past 5 years. I am 100% not the same Amelia who graduated from Lapeer East High School on June 6, 2008.

This was on my last of high school, I'm with my friends Katrina, Courtney and Sarah.

In the past 5 years, I have moved 6 times. By the time I graduate in May, I'll be working on my 7th move (and hopefully the last one for a little while). When I turned 18, I moved out of home and into an apartment in Charter Oaks. That year was a year of big change. Some of my friends left me, others stayed and I even met some new ones.

Fall 2008 brought about new experiences in life. For once, I had control over what I wanted to do for most of the day. I drove myself to and from school and could do what I want when I was there. I could go out to eat where I wanted to. I could try new things. But I didn't try too much because I was well...scared! Everything was so big to me then. I had the ability try many things. But I didn't.

Fall 2009

Zach, Shannon and I in fall 2009.

Staying in Charter Oaks for another year, this was the year I also lost someone that I loved dearly. This was the year that I realized that Music Education was just not for me. I didn't go back for performance classes but changed last minute to nursing classes. I remember struggling through Anatomy and Physiology among other classes. Life was difficult.

But this was the year that I really got close to a couple of the friends that I spend so much time with not, Abijah and Tanisha. These two lovely ladies came into my life at the beginning of Freshman year, but it wasn't until my 2nd year at the university that I actually got to know them. I am so glad I did, as I love these two dearly!

Tanisha and Abijah in 2010

The summer after this year was the summer I began working at The Fowler Center for Outdoor Education. This eye opening summer brought new experiences with campers that I would have never met anywhere else. Cabin 4, the pirate cabin, was the best of course, and it was just an amazing summer. I made some amazing friends that summer.

Fall 2010

Fall 2010, from the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 premiere

This was when a change needed to happen. Charter Oaks was always rough for me. For one, it had many memories. I lost some good friends while living there, and I spent a lot of time to myself in that apartment. It was time to move out of the walls that held so many memories. So, I moved to campus. Okay, maybe not on campus but close to it. In Fall 2010, I moved to Riverfront Residence Hall, my current residence. Who knew that living here would open up so many opportunities for me and shape me into a better person? Tanisha also joined me as we moved into 1104, our first apartment. It was a 3 bedroom and we didn't meet the last roommate until a few days after we moved in. Mindu would come to be one of our favorite people!

Mindu and Abijah :)

1104 will always hold wonderful memories of amazing nights with friends and laughter. That was also the year that I decided that I just wasn't going to make it in Nursing and officially switched my major to Psychology, my final major. I learned that if I took one class, I would have a minor in medicine...so I took it, but that was the last "science" class I would step into. (I have the ""'s because some would argue, like me, that psychology is a science, just in a different way.) I was finding my niche in the world and it felt amazing. 

2011 began with a bang, while I joined some friends in Luna's basement for some fun times. Earlier in that year, I learned about the death of my father, a week of my life that would show me just how strong I was dealing with certain situations. I also got my first tattoo (and currently only one) with my cousin that year. In summer 2011, I went back to TFC for almost the whole entire summer, but ended it with some time with friends in Saginaw.

Fall 2011

Welcome Back Picnic 2011

Fall 2011, and my 4th year at UM-Flint came and I was excited to be moving back to Riverfront and to see my "Flint friends" again. In August, I began work at Riverfront at the front desk. I got to meet so many more people who live in the building through my work at the desk. Some would stop by and have a chat every so often and it was a lot of fun.

Tanisha, Mindu and I were now living in 512 which was exciting because it was a much larger apartment. In October, I turned 21 and held a wonderful party full of friends (and family because Molly was there). THAT was a fun night! This was really the year that I stretched the bounds of my freedom. Sometimes you have the ability to do things, but you don't really do them. In my 4th year, I finally realized just how much I could do and how much I could really enjoy life. So I would take trips out to see Molly in Lansing almost once a month, I went out on the town on Thursday nights, I met new people, I tried new things. I embraced the life that I was given and learned to enjoy every second of it.

And it was an enlightening experience. Because of my new lease on life in 2011, I got to know one special guy that I had known for awhile, but never really got to know. Kevin. Kevin and I met in fall 2010. We had a Nursing class together...back when I WAS a nursing major. We were actually in the same group for our big project because our last names were close (and the teacher assigned them by last name). Through that time, I never really got to know him, but he was there. Abijah knew him through ITS so we invited him to parties and he always made me laugh. He was invited to my birthday party and came to bring some major entertainment. Later in 2011 for my Christmas party, we finally sealed the deal and began dating. This upcoming Monday will be our one year of being together. I ended my 2011 with a new relationship and some amazing memories.

Fun times with friends old and new :)

I started 2012 with new ideas with how I wanted to run my life. I faced some demons that I had been haunting me for years. I basically pushed some people out of my life that I sometimes regret pushing, but it happened. But I also welcomed the renewing of relationships some old and some that I never thought would be possible. I added another set of people to my friend group through the addition of Zac Sanborn, someone who opened my eyes up to many new things. 

The summer after this year, I gained a new job experience that I have had much enjoyment out of these past few months. I became an RA! Sara was in need of someone, and I had applied before, so after the interview process, I was hired. In June, I began my work as a mentor and friend to many different students all over the building.

Fall 2012

Molly and I on Shopping day!

Fall 2012 has been an interesting experience, one that has dealt with the balance of life. At the beginning of my college experience, I felt like I did nothing. Because I didn't do anything. I spent a lot of time at home, just sitting. Looking back on that time now, it was so much easier. These past few months I have had to schedule anything. There have been days that I would have loved to actually just sit at home and be lazy, but I just don't have the time! Between working 2 jobs, as an RA and front desk worker, full time at school (which has been difficult because I am taking harder classes in order to graduate) and time with friends, my life has been chaotic lately. But I love it, all of it.

As I look forward, in the next week I will finish exams for fall 2012 and begin another year here in a couple weeks. This next year brings graduation in May, a date that I am anticipating and scared of at the same time. May 5th, 2013 will release me from the chapter of my life that I have been safely in for 5 years. I will be out there to the world and well...all of it's unknown ways. That piece of paper they hand me on this day will include all that I have talked about and remembered. It will show that I have worked my butt off for a small slip of paper that will take me farther than I could ever imagine.

It's interesting what life does to people. It's interesting how my journey to get to May 5th has had many twists and turns along the way and how much work it would take to get there. The journey of life is a beautiful thing, and has so many lessons ans triumphs along the way. But it's here...and that is just crazy to me.

Enjoy some of my favorite moments from the past few years:

                           

Where Did September Go?

So it has been a month since I've updated this. Sorry! Thus is the life of a college senior who is also an RA. September's in college are always crazy busy. One of my fellow RA's affectionately called it "free pizza month" because there are a million events on campus, all different clubs are trying to recruit people and get their name out there to the student population. What's easier to get people to come out than to say you have free pizza. If you plan it right, you can almost get a free meal a day throughout the whole month!

Along with all these events, there have been RA duties. Being an RA is fun, but there are some work aspects to it too that can be hard to juggle. During the 2nd and 3rd week of the month, each RA had to meet with each room individually to write up a roommate agreements. There was also a floor meeting as well as welcome back events all thrown in there.

So here are some updates on my month:
Molly and I went on our yearly shopping trip, Le Epic Day of Shopping. This time, our boyfriends joined us! It was a wonderfully long day down at Great Lakes Crossing. Afterwards, we grabbed some Olive Garden and then joined the gang for some Timmy Ho's Time!

We shopped until we dropped!

One of the welcome back events was an University sponsored walk to the Flint Farmer's Market. Though I have that I have wanted to go for awhile, I have never made it over there. This time, I went with the UM and those who signed up. It was a beautiful Saturday morning to walk over there and we all received a $15 gift card to spend anywhere throughout the market. I got some fresh veggies as well as some beautiful flowers and wine for my apartment.

September 13th was the annual Welcome Back Picnic, a day of food and fun at UM-Flint. This year, they once again had some carnival rides and grilled food. I had no class or work for the afternoon, so Kevin and I spent the afternoon around riding rides, winning prizes, walking around and hanging out with different people during the day. It was a really fun afternoon!

One Saturday evening, I escaped Flint to see Molly and Matt. They had moved to a different apartment and it's so CUTE! I got to spend the night there, we went out for some drinks at Spiral and then just had a chill night. The next morning we grabbed some breakfast at Denny's before my return home.

Molly and Matt outside by the fire at Spiral.

We have had several game nights these past couple weeks in my room. This semester, I added some rather hilarious and fun games to my board game collection. Gloom, We Didn't Playtest This At All, and Cards Against Humanity have gotten some play and have caused some major peals of laughter in my room so far this year.

Here are some more pictures so you can get a taste of just how crazy life has been lately.

Timmy Ho's!

With Abijah, Kevin and Tanisha at the Welcome Back Picnic!

Getting some lunch before shopping.

We do a variety of events for the residents. One was door knob hangers. This is the one for my door!

Nick, Meg and Ben messing around during UM Move in.

This exists in Flint. 

Music

1. Babel- Mumford & Sons

2. Whispers in the Dark- Mumford & Sons

3. I Will Wait- Mumford & Sons

4. Holland Road- Mumford & Sons

5. Ghosts That We Knew- Mumford & Sons

6. Lover of the Light- Mumford & Sons

7. Lovers Eyes- Mumford & Sons

8. Reminder- Mumford & Sons

9. Hopeless Wanderer- Mumford & Sons

10. Broken Crown- Mumford & Sons

11. Below My Feet- Mumford & Sons

12. Not With Haste- Mumford & Sons

13. For Those Below- Mumford & Sons

14. The Boxer- Mumford & Sons

15. Where Are You Now- Mumford & Sons

16. Paper Heart- David Cook

17. Death and all His Friends- Coldplay

18. Yes- Coldplay

19. Paradise- Coldplay

20. Wide Awake- Katy Perry

21. The A Team- Ed Sheeran

22. Pound the Alarm- Nicki Minaj

23. 50 Ways to Say Goodbye- Train

24. Us Against The World- Coldplay

An Amazingly Happy New Year!

First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! This year has been a much different new year for me than I have had in awhile. And I had so much fun! But before I get into the details on just how AMAZING my night was (because it was shoot off fireworks, kiss a baby, amazing) I'll catch you all up on my whole holiday season, as it has been  just epic in general.


Christmas was actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Last year was a little subdued (I think I wrote about it on here last year). It ended up being a very quiet affair and even though I enjoyed it, something was just different about the whole situation! But this year was the direct opposite! Christmas Eve I was off to Molly's Uncle Dennis' where we had Christmas with them. It was fun, we watched movies, open gifts, caught up on life. Uncle Steve gave all the girls his version of lingerie, a 4X camo nightgown. What a man! Love him so much though, he makes me laugh (and that this is SUPER warm). That night I went off to Ken and Mo's for Christmas Eve like usual and we just chilled, had a drink, shared some laughs, and had a great time.  Molly and I went to her brother EJ's for the night.


The next morning we got up and had brunch. Uncle Steve and Aunt Sue came down to EJ's to join us this year and we had present sharing time while keeping the dogs from tearing up everything. (Great entertainment was had). Then I got dressed and was off for the day. I drove up to Lapeer to Uncle Dave and Aunt Debs. I was a little early so I had to wait around, offered my help in the kitchen (something I think that took Aunt Debbie a little off guard) and just made the time as pleasing as possible. Aunt Debbie's family came over soon and we spent our time talking and catching up.


After dinner, I was off to Todd and Michelle's, where I always end my Christmas night. I arrived in time for a packed house! It was nice taking a seat at the dining room table and talking to Aunt Rosalie, Aunt Jane, Paula, Aunt Linda, Michelle and the random people who came and went. It was really quite wonderful sharing so many laughs with them that night! Aunt Linda loved the collage I made her for Christmas (and made sure that everyone saw it...Michelle approved of how many times she was in it ;D ) and stories about our family that were hilarious came up. Totally an enjoyable time. Kids were running around, it was just a perfect Christmas. By the time I hit the pillow on the couch at 11, I was exhausted!


The next morning we got up and went shopping. Aunt Linda wanted to buy me something for Christmas, so I found a nice pair of jeans that fit nicely and bought myself a sweater (it is actually my favorite piece of clothing right now!) And then I was off to Flint to meet Molly and Kevin for a trip to Frankenmuth! Molly had never been so we walked around little Bavaria, went to shops, watched them make fudge (and TRIED warm fudge...mmm!) and bought some. 


Tuesday brought a lunch with my friend Matt who I have known for a long time. We hadn't seen each other for awhile, so we got some pizza, talked about life and shared some laughs. It was so nice seeing him! Later that night I headed to Saginaw to spend the night with my friend's Helen and David from The Fowler Center! They are literally my favorite couple!!! Dave's little sister Angie was there (I love that girl!) and her boyfriend Eddie. We just had a great time. Mikaela and Charlotte, who worked with us our first summer at TFC, came by. Charlotte was in the country from overseas to spend the holiday with Mikaela, I hadn't seen her since summer 2010! It was nice catching up with her for sure!


Thursday came the day where I got shit done....literally! I bought my textbooks for this semester online, I paid the rest of my rent for my lease, I did some online shopping (girl found some DEALS!), finalized my schedule for this semester, and talked to people more and got to know them better (which is one of my favorite things to do)! It was a wonderful day. I then I set up my new XBox 360 and gamed all afternoon. :) That night I went out to dinner with Sarah and Kelly from TFC at Buffalo Wild Wings and we had a blast!


Friday was a weird day. I was having some issues with my hand majorly, the tendons were super swollen so I got a doctors appointment that morning and ended up with some major pain pills and a shot of cortisone. I then went to the mall to return Tanisha's Christmas gift (the thing I got her was not okay for certain reasons hahah) and bought her another. Then her and I decided we were going to split the cost on a new TV (since we both have new xboxes) so I went to Best Buy for that and got a beauty. By the time I made it home, I was having some weird side effects from the new pain prescription (it was making me feel really weird) so I set up the TV, told Kevin that I just didn't want to see anyone and laid in front of the TV for the rest of the night waiting to not feel sick and groggy. I called in and asked for a different prescription which was called in (and I can happily say that the one time I've taken it, I don't have the same kind of side effects!) Gotta love chronic tendinitis in both hands...and it causing issues...blah!


ANYWAY! I got up yesterday and felt like a whole new woman. I spent the day being lazy, thinking of mom and getting ready for the night's festivities. Kevin came over a little later and spent some time together before we were off to Lapeer to get Zac and head to Uncle Dave's. But when we get to Tim Horton's, I remembered that I forgot Katrina's Christmas gift at my apartment, so Zac jumped in my car and we drove back so I could grab it. It was all good though, Zac and Kevin became acquainted, had some "bro" time hahaha and I think became more comfortable with each other. (Zac had NEVER hung out with us, ever, and I invited him because I had enjoyed our conversations on Facebook QUITE a bit and it would be nice to just spend some time getting to know him better!) We were off to Uncle Dave's where I got tackled by children (and my best friend Katrina), laughs were had and Euchre was played for hours on end! But probably the best moment of the night was midnight where yes, I'm going to say it, Kevin and I shared the "first kiss" of our relationship. For more on THAT story, you can ask me personally hahaha because it was quite entertaining. But, yes I had the goofiest grin ever...EVER in my life and well, it was the first time in a long time that I shared a New Year's kiss with someone who wasn't a family member. :D


After midnight, we left the shindig and went to Tim Horton's for some coffee to refuel before heading to Zac's house. There was actually a New Year's party going on there as well (haha but Zac was with US!) and we were there until after 3 am talking, meeting new people, laughing, and just enjoying each other's company. Then Kevin and I made the drive back to Flint (safely and NOT under the influence of anything I may add...this was actually a drink free New Year and I was a-okay with that)! I think I had faygo, coffee and water all night long! After a goodnight kiss (eeee!!!) we parted ways.


 I thought I would just collapse in bed and go to sleep...but nope. I ended up tracking down who the person was who thought it was awesome to submit the comment, "Lose some weight, you fat pig!" to my post about my Christmas party last night. Yup, I know who you are, where you live, and well, if you're reading this...cool story bro. I'm not going to say I'm not overweight, oh I know I am. But comments like those aren't going to break me down like they did years ago. For your information anonymous (as you weren't brave enough to say it with your name attached) I AM actually taking a swimming class this semester. It may (or may not) help me lose weight, but either way, I am going to be getting some exercise in my life. Thank you for caring about my well-being, that is really kind of you. There are also words I would like to share with you, but in truth, I no longer want to spread hate, so I'm not going to say them to you. Optimism is such a wonderful thing, and it makes people see the best in every situation (and is the main reason I am still functioning with the shitstorm that is my life) and I'm going to say anon, that yes I am overweight, and if I lose some weight this semester, cool. That's fine with me. But if I don't, then whatever. I am relatively healthy and that's all I can ask for. I have awesome people in my life (and you are not one of them) and that's a wonderful thing. I am happy and that's ALL that matters. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate your life and look at what you are doing before you try taking down the tower that is Amelia. Good luck!


After that, I went through my Facebook friends list (all 1200+ of them) and deleted over 100 people. These were people that have been negative to me, that I don't really know, that I don't know why I added them, and people who are just not worth being in my life again. I am sure that another cut will happen in the future. But one of them was a good friend from the past who is no longer my friend. If she is reading this, awesome. You are REALLY trying to get into my life. I knew it the moment that you added Kevin on Facebook the moment we became boyfriend and girlfriend. If you want to know what's going on in my life, ASK me. You are around UM-Flint ALL THE TIME, and never even acknowledge my presence when we pass in the hall (and I know you see me)! It was only a matter of time. If you want to actually be friends again, then you can message me on Facebook, try to build a friendship and maybe, just maybe, I'll eventually add you back. I'm done putting the energy in our relationship. Good luck stalking me, it's not going to happen via Facebook anymore.


I fell into my bed at about 6 am this morning. For the most part, the night was amazing. I am so ready for 2012 and all the craziness it's going to bring into my life. I am all about being positive and getting the negative out of my life. A new start. As I said yesterday, I don't have New Year's resolutions, and I am not going to try to make this year better. I am going to take everyday as they come, one day at a time, laugh often, smile everyday, share some memories, keep moving forward through the tough stuff and LIVE! I'm ready, are you?


P.S. Kevin survived meeting my family last night...I get to meet his tonight. I may be a tad nervous :) stupid social anxiety!


Music:
1. American Idiot- Green Day
2. Tonight- Seether
3. Who's They- Daughtry
4. Night Hunter- 30 Seconds to Mars
5. Hero/Heroine- Boyslikegirls
6. Nothing- The Script
7. If It's Love- Train
8. Dirty Little Secret- All-American Rejects
9. Again- Flyleaf