Dear Aunt Anne,

It's 1:22 in the morning and the only person I can think about is you. I had a moment, about 20 minutes ago, as I was going back to bed after letting the dog out where a memory popped in my head. It was a rather good memory, one of you. But it made the tears start flowing and they just wouldn't stop until I got my thoughts down.

When I was younger, I remember you made me some stationary. It stated something along the lines of "from the desk of Amelia Moore" or "With love from Amelia" or something like that. And on the top you had taken that picture of my mother, brother and I from Paula's wedding and just cropped it of me. You made me like 10 sheets but I thought they were made out of gold and I remember I used to write little notes on them to people and when I got down to the last sheet, I saved it forever until I found someone special.

I can't remember who I wrote to back then. Probably family members and friends who have long thrown those letters in the garbage. But I can remember that paper and how today I love my stationary and how I write people all over the world.

The day I found out you had passed was a normal Wednesday. I was sitting at work doing my normal things when Aunt Jane popped up on my phone. She didn't even have to say your name before I knew what she was calling about. And I cried, much like I am now, for the times I missed because of my stupid pride. Missed opportunities that I would never get back.

We both are/were stubborn women and I know that throughout the years, you loved me just the same, even when we had our disagreements. Heck, there are things on this very blog that you both loved to hear and also hated to hear. And I know that. It has always been easier for me to communicate by written word; a fatal flaw of sorts.

I hope you know that I loved you too. I have said many hateful words in the past. I have disagreed with things that happened and were said, but I still love and appreciate everything you did or tried to do for me. Even those things I had no idea about until long after the fact.

And I am sorry that Kevin and I couldn't have gotten married last fall. I will always remember the one comment to me when you said "Why can't you do it this year?" and I said something along the lines that we didn't have the money. You and I both know that I could have thrown everything I had and was given in my 25th year towards a beautiful wedding, but you and I also both know that isn't what my mother would have wanted. We are putting it where it rightfully should go, into a house that is ours for our future.

I guess I will leave this here. It is funny how grief gets you. I cried when I found out you had died and hell, I cried pretty hard when we said goodbye as a family. But then I went back to my life. I tried to show some support to your kids whose shoes I had been in 12 years before, but I went back to everything I had built after the funeral home.

Until February 16th at 1am when your memory reminded me that I won't be able to see you at my wedding this September and that you are no longer with us. Even if I don't show it, I remember. And it still hurts.

I love you Aunt Anne. Just as much as I loved you when you gave me that stationary and as much as I didn't want to admit I did when we had our differences.

Love your niece,

Amelia

I Found THE Dress

Wedding dress shopping should be fun but for many brides, they find that finding that right dress is so hard and it is down right stressful. This is because this one dress holds so much expectation. All your family and friends will see you in it, it is the symbol of your old life joining your new life with your husband. With all those expectations also come opinions.

I believe the #1 reason that a bride doesn't get a dress that she wants is because she thinks that someone will disapprove of it. This past weekend I went shopping with my bridal party and my fiance's mother. She wasn't originally a fan of the fact that I loved the big tulle ball gown shapes and not the more traditional styles. At one point in the appointment, I said to her the reason why I love the tulle- it is my personality. I am a bubbly person and I love to make a splash when I can. I am in no way traditional and she changed her opinion pretty quickly. Though brides shouldn't have to explain themselves, I did because I didn't want it to be something that would come between us during this whole process.

Interestingly enough, I didn't find my dress at this store. I was actually very disappointed in their choices in dresses for women my size and the consultant I had was less than enthusiastic about serving me that day. But I did find another dress.

For months I have been eyeing it on David's Bridal. Everyone told me "do not go to David's Bridal," "I heard horror stories." But this dress was beautiful and just what I wanted. Plus is was on sale for much cheaper than those other dresses I was less than enthused about. Then it went on sale for $100 and I snatched it up. The moment I put it on at home, I knew it was going to be the one and I just can't wait to walk down the aisle in it. While there is some tulle and it is a ballgown, it is still traditional in a sense but it is so me. Even my bridal party said so and said they liked it much better than any designer dress I could have bought for tons more.

Who would have thought that I would wear a wedding dress that was cheaper than my Prom dress! :) I am so excited to get it fitted correctly (using a local seamstress, not the store) and to wear it on my big day!

I'm Gonna Get Married

So, its been a few months since the engagement between Kevin and I actually happened, but I just felt the need to share the story of one of the most surprising and amazing nights of my life.

It was a Thursday night, March 5th, 2015 and I was sitting at home. Kevin and I work at the same place but our shifts are a little off on Thursdays so I end up getting home at around 7 while he gets home after 9. I had already gotten home and changed into my comfy clothes, cooked dinner (it was waiting on the stove) and had settled down in front of Netflix to watch some Grey's Anatomy reruns. Kevin had been fighting a cold for a few days so nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me when he said he was stopping at the store to get some cough drops.

It was around 9:45 when the dog alarm alerted me that Kevin was coming through the door, but he was hiding something. Since from the place I was perched on the couch had full visibility of the door, Kevin told me I had to close my eyes. Confused, I did as I was told, with a dramatic scene of Grey's anatomy playing in the background. He came over and behind me and placed a bouquet of flowers, later to be revealed as roses, in my right hand and kneeled on my left side before having me open my eyes.

"Will you marry me?" He asked as he held up the white ring box with the beautiful ring.

"Are you serious?" I said, not believing him as he had told me previously that he was going to fake me out.

"Yes!" He said, laughing.

"Of course," I said as I started to cry happy tears. I made him put the ring on my hand, which fit perfectly, and we kissed. It really was beautiful. I got up and into the kitchen where the light was on so I could look at the ring better and he said "We need to make it facebook official." (which, if you know anything about our relationship, that was the first thing we did after deciding to start dating. We have pictures of is making it facebook official.) I said that we need to tell a couple people first, so I snapped a picture and sent a few texts to friends and family. Then I put the needed ring picture on instagram and facebook.

I was still crying happy tears when I said, "Well dinner is done..." Kevin laughed. We dished some food out but I was so excited I could barely eat.

While we always think about some grand gesture for our engagement, I truthfully think I wouldn't want it any other way than at home. Kevin said he didn't want to do it at a restaurant because it wouldn't be a surprise and I would be crying all over the place in the middle of the place. I loved that it was at home and private to us. Much more sentimental (and I'll always be able to say that I didn't believe him when he asked me!)

By the way...I never paused Grey's Anatomy once throughout the whole time.

#WipeForWater Is A Great Campaign

In March, I was the lucky recipient of a Voxbox from a wonderful website I have been a member of called influenster. Influenster allows you to connect your social media and use your influence to try new and different products and then review them.

This voxbox I recieved had a full size package of Neutrogena Naturals Make Up Wipes. It also included a small card with the information about the wipe for water challenge. Did you know that we waste up to 5 gallons of water just washing our face? It doesn't seem like a lot, but as a world, we are becoming more conscious of the water that we use and we are trying to preserve our natural resources. Neutrogena is leading the charge when it comes to make up and its removal.

I didn't think these wipes would be that great since they are naturally derived and use very few chemicals but I thought I would give the challenge a try.

Day 1:  I noticed that my skin was clean, soft and refreshed. I actually didn't have any greasy residue after using the wipes and the smell was nice.

Day 2: I really thought that the feeling from the night before wouldn't last until the next day. I tend to get a lot of grease, especially on my forehead, and I didn't think this would last. I was wrong as my skin felt wonderful. I used the wipe again and washed off the days dirt and my skin still felt wonderful.

Day 3: My skin was still beautiful and starting to even glow a bit. I noticed that the dryness from being sick was clearing up as well.

Day 4-present:  I have actually used these every night since and it has become a routine (yes I have had to buy more and had a surprisingly hard time finding them as they were always out of stock- so they must be popular! 

Overall, I am very happy that I was sent this product for testing purposes. It is a wonderful face wipe and the challenge is great. I have taken out most of my face washing routine in place of the wipes and just wash in the shower when needed.

A Bit of an Update

Well...it has been forever since I have been on here. Life has so happened but in a great and wonderful way. I think the last time I had an actually life update on here was almost a year ago. So...here goes!

I'm still working at the same lovely company. I love Diplomat and everything that we stand for. In December I was asked to head a new team in a new department for a new system that we are using to call our patients to get their refills set up. Though it was challenging and new, I have learned and settled into my new role wonderfully. I really love it actually and getting to know even more people in the company is a wonderful thing. It is always nice putting a face with the name and voice that you hear at the end of the phone.

I'm still living in the same place because I love it there. It is one of the more safer areas I have ever lived in, its quiet and we haven't had any major problems. I am happy with my roommate and feel satisfied that I could stay there for another year or few until I am able to move into something a little more permanent.

Kevin moved in just after Christmas. In December, he received his Bachelor's degree in Healthcare Administration from UM-Flint. Seeing him walk across that stage made me so proud. We are both college graduates! A couple weeks after that, he moved in with me full time. Though it has been testing at times, it has grown our relationship even more. He even accepted a position at Diplomat as well in December- it was a big month for him!

Big news for us (though I know you already know!), on 3/5/15 he asked me to marry him and of course I said yes (....after I said "are you serious?" lol). He asked me after getting home from work in our little home. I cried (of course) but they were happy tears. I am so excited to get married to him and spend the rest of our lives together. Though it took us a long time to start dating, we finally made the leap and I could not have been happier for the last 3 years. I feel so lucky.

There's my ring! He has such great taste :) I love it and look at it everyday!

Of course I know you want to know some details but we are still in the early planning. The date we have picked in 9/17/16- so keep it open people! We are looking to have the ceremony and reception in the Lapeer area but that may change, we haven't booked anything yet. So many people have come out of the woodwork to help out so far and offer things as we are doing this on as small as a budget as possible and it has been amazing. I want to thank those who have offered services, ideas and items for our big day!

Other than that, its life as usual. Tonks is a cute little stinker with an attitude. Working like crazy but loving every minute of it.

Life is wonderful...thanks for being a part of it. Here are some pics of the year :)

Edith Eger, a holocaust survivor. She was an amazing woman to meet.

Color run- thanks Sally for joining me!

Wine and brownies with the bestie

The cats loving the warmer weather we had a few weeks ago, watching the birdies.

I'll Make an Influenster Out of You!

Back in late 2012, my friend Luna introduced me to a great website...Influenster. I remember her texting me and telling me all about this website where I could earn boxes with free items to test out and how she had gotten her first box. I thought, hey...it's worth a try right?

So she invited me (it is an invite only website) and I joined. I started doing surveys on there about things I liked, wrote reviews for things I used and wracked up some points. 

When I got my first email a month later, I was ecstatic. I was told that I would be testing out a new dish soap. Now dishes weren't my thing but I figured I would receive anything but small sample sized bottles of the product.

BOY was I wrong. In a box I received three full sized products of Palmolive Fresh Infusions (see my blog post about it here). I gave one to my boss at the time to give a try and I tested them out. They smelt amazing and were kind to my hands. I was so happy to try something like this out.

And the boxes (called voxboxes) came rolling in. The next one I received a bunch of different items, including the entire Colgate Optic White line, a new spray on lotion from Vaseline (which became one of my favorite lotions, Dickinson's Face wipes (which I also came to love) and some other goodies. 

I also received voucher programs for products that can't be shipped. One was for a wonderful yougurt drink and frozen yogurt and the other was for Sargento cheese.

But this website isn't just for the free items that you receive. I found myself a community of people with opinions. I'm not going to lie, half the time when I am trying to find a new product or see if something I am thinking about buying for the first time is worthwhile, I take a little trip over to influenster to see what kinds of thoughts others have had.

And I get to share my thoughts. Have you ever found a shampoo, makeup, household item, etc that you just can't live without? You can share your full thoughts on it for others to view. You can ask questions and get feedback on products. You can learn about other products. This website is literally for everyone. There are outdoor products, mom products, mens products, etc.

So...if you want to take on the challenge of being an influenster. If you are willing to share your opinion with others...let me know. I'll send you an invite!

Check out their website here for more information.

See below for products I have tried and won!

This was my latest voxbox, all these products were wonderful!

This came last Christmas, what a wonderful gift!

Each voxbox has "tasks" that you complete. IF you complete them and you are seen as one of the best, you can win prizes. I won this entire box of makeup as a prize for my Rimmel London Mascara box!

They couldn't send the cheese but they did send me a free lunchbox!

This was my 2nd box Such wonderful products (and the Optic White does work!)

This is my first college box. These products are perfect for any sorority girl!

What Lengths Women Go For Their Hair

So about a month ago, I moved into a new apartment. I was in love with this apartment and was over the moon to finally be living there. 

But everything wasn't perfect. My hair. Now this may sound shallow to some and not like me, but it bothered me. When I lived in my old home, I only had to wash my hair twice a week and it would stay beautiful, soft and flowy. I loved it.

My new problem started very soon after I moved. My hair wouldn't stay as clean as long. I took it as the weather getting warm and I was sweating more. No big deal, I'll wash it more. Then it would get to the point where I would wash it at night and wake up to it being gross, greasy and hard to pull a brush through. It was flat and just not beautiful. 

So I tried a new shampoo. I grabbed one of those shampoos without the sulfates and such that are left behind. It worked for about 1 week. Soon my hair was feeling greasy while it was still wet. I would blow it dry and it would be gross.

This is where Google came in. I trolled online forums for people who had the same problem. And most of the solutions that were found came right from your cup boards at home.

So I thought, why not? I'll give it a try. In came my saviors:

- Original Listerine

- Apple Cider Vinegar

- Witch Hazel

- Baking Soda

- Garnier Fructis Tea Tree Oil Shampoo

- A deep conditioner

1. I started with the vinegar and witch hazel. I used 1/3 cup of vinegar, about 2 tablespoon of witch hazel and enough water for 1 cup of solution.

I poured this over my DRY hair and left it on for 20 minutes while I went around doing things around the house. Rub thus into your scalp before letting it sit!

Now you will smell like a pickle but do t worry, this smell won't last. After about 20 minutes, jump in the shower and rinse it all the way out. You may notice a change in your hair texture already. Mine felt dry- don't worry, the deep conditioner will help this.

2. Next I used my old shampoo for this step. Don't worry about this at all. Pour the amount of shampoo you use for your hair in your hand and put some dry baking soda in it. Mix in your hand to make a paste and apply to your hair- mainly into your scalp and massage on. Really get in there! Then rinse.

3. Next came the Listerine. I poured a capful through my hair from scalp down. This will feel cold and tingly. It felt good to me but for some it may be too much. I rubbed this into my scalp and let it sit for a minute then rinsed.

4. After that, I used the tea tree shampoo to cleanse my hair and some of the dry feeling went away. Rinse.

5. Lastly I used a deep conditioner in my hair. The kind I used was Herbal Essence Hydraliscious. I applied liberally and let sit on my hair for a few. Use more at the ends but don't forget to give you roots a little love too. Rinse well.

I found my hair texture had approved tenfold with this and when I blow dried it after the shower, my hair was silky and smooth- much like it used to feel!