For me, music is my art of choice. Yes, I can draw, but I don't see myself as an artist. I don't think I am accomplished when it comes to the use of a pencil to draw, or paints to paint. Music is something that I can do and it is something I have done for many years now.
When my mother was sick and we were dealing with a lot at home, she bought me a clarinet. I wanted to be in the school band, I wanted to play an instrument, and she supported that. She did everything she could to get me my instrument and by the time I was in middle school, it was my instrument. I loved it. Me and the clarinet were best of friends.
My clarinet has, over the years, seen many tears, shaken in my hands when I was angry and dealt with lots of my pain, both physical and emotional. My clarinet was my outlet to get out all the feelings I was dealing with. I would spend hours playing my clarinet, trying new things, putting all my emotion out through that instrument. Some people meditate to calm down, I played my clarinet. To me, at the end of each practice session, I was 100% calmer and more clear-headed. I learned when I lived with Uncle Dave and Aunt Deb that they would leave me alone when I was playing my instrument, so that's what I did...a lot.
So it seemed natural when I went to college that I wanted to pursue music. But after my jaw surgery, I had to wait a semester to pick up the clarinet. And I was excited to do it. But as my second semester waned down, life was getting hectic and I was forced to play the clarinet....I started to hate it. And I put it down for awhile, changed my major and quit. After the loss of Sam, I couldn't keep it down. At the end of summer 2009, I picked it up again, started in the band at UM and learned the joy again.
But it just wasn't instrumental music that got me through everything. Instrumental music was "instrumental" in my love for all music in general. My mother always had a love for music. For my childhood, we would sing in the car. These moments were some of my most favorite, just mom and me, singing at the top of our lungs, in the car driving down the road.
But over the years, there are songs that have changed my life. It may seem weird to some that a song can change a life, but it really can. When musicians write a song, they have reasons, and those songs can strike a chord in the many fans that they have. They can keep someone going for one more day. They can give life. I think that the enjoyment and the emotion someone feels by a song may be perfectly selfish, but if it inspires you, be selfish.
Music is important. It is something I will instill in my children when I have them. I will show them the love, the beauty and the meaning of what is music. Music saved me. Music kept me going. Music was the biggest gift I have ever and will ever be given.
Oh...and my music this morning, since I don't feel the need to list them, I'll leave you videos so YOU can listen. It's all the new album by the Fray, bear with me haha: